As I age, I have realized that my ability to understand the complex workings of relationships is limited by the amount of time I am capable of spending thinking. I use to think that I understood peoples’ motivations well, and that I was a good people person. It seemed to be easy to understand why people did what they did and said what they said, but, as I age I have realized, that is not the case. My initial assessments are often wrong and everyone is so complicated. As I aged, I began to lose friends, and, after my mid-twenties, started to realize that as you get older, sometimes, even the people you like the most, become not-so-good people.
The friends you make, reflect you in ways that aren’t often apparent
This mostly happens for reasons I don’t really understand, but, when you are young you never think you will lose a best friend to Nihilism. Nihilism is the belief that there is no point to life. Personal life philosophies, for me at least, were mostly an intellectual pursuit. I didn’t really understand the difference they would make in the outcome of each of our lives. They make a difference though, a huge one, and everyone I know who didn’t have a strong belief in the point of life, faded out of the good, away from the light.
Ego and envy also start to play into peoples’ lives around the same time as some graduate from university. I don’t understand both fully, but in short those who choose not to accomplish the most in undergraduate, choose to hate people who do. Growing up I always viewed not accomplishing the most as more of a personal choice, it’s your own life after all. Now though, I believe that it ties back in to personal philosophies. Just because they thought they could slip through time, not working hard, and not really trying, it turns out, you become depressed and make fun of people who try, for no real reason, just to pass the time.
Many times, it is yourself who is not right
One of the biggest problems encountered as I left university and moved into the realm of the real world, is ego, it oftentimes means, you don’t understand your limitations, are quick to say you are right, and never care to learn. Being a lifelong learner typically means you are content, but, when you just say you are the best, you don’t work hard, you show off, and sometimes climb the work ladder without really knowing your stuff. You take other people for granted and lose friends, tend to never think the thought that you, yourself, might be wrong. And often, it isn’t even about something big, just might be wrong on one simple thing.
A personal philosophy comes from reading, learning, wondering, and asking questions. It something you build up over time, something important, something worth having. Without one, you lack motivation, lack common sense, and as you age, you tend to hang out with people with similar philosophies. When I was at university, I began to wonder if people really were going to stay my friends, I thought for sure that me and my close friends, would stay best friends. I was wrong though, they seemed to fade, out of my life. Slowly sometimes, and quickly other times. It wasn’t because of our differences in study though, it was due to many things, one of them being some didn’t have a life philosophy. They got jobs they didn’t like, failed to become their dreams, even though they could have. When you fail at your dreams at a young age, you begin to get envious and depressed, abuse alcohol and not care about anyone else.
My biggest personal failures that occurred in my twenties, tended to happen from either inaction, laziness, or failing at communicating. It is often that there is a misunderstanding among you and your friends. Those things hide in the whispers of what is said and over time build until the breaking point. At points in my life, I failed to act, I knew something regarding my friends and didn’t know how to fix it. It led to a falling out among our group. Finally, laziness seems to be something that affects almost everybody. It affected me at times, and that drove away opportunities to seek contentment long term. If I could have one more chance at my twenties, I think I would seek friendship among people who have similar life philosophies to me, not among people that just seem to fall into place. I would take a while to decide who is my friend, and I would make a better attempt to understand them. Now in my thirties, I know some mistakes that await ahead, and with some friends and people close to me, I know not to repeat them again.
I am my only caretaker
If, as you age, you keep one thing in mind, it is we are all limited by our time. Our daily time is limited by our goals and our goals are set internally by our primal brain, that means you have to try hard when you are young (and old) because if you don’t fully believe in a personal philosophy, one which is good, then when you wake up in the morning you will find your performance is less than stellar. Not that you will care, as you first start out, just as you age, the effort you put in to your dreams, is not ever wasted, for it makes you happy.
To seek contentment, you need to understand that, time is your ally, if you wake up everyday, thinking today is the day, that I will learn and have fun, prosper and ponder, then today will be grand and build a tomorrow fit for a man. Then if you work on your personal philosophy, from time to time, make sure it isn’t Nihilism, then you will find, as you age, time is key, it helps you grow as a human being. It enables the great and glorious, and no matter the end, it is the moment that perspires, persists, and gives purpose, for it is in the moment we reside. To make the best of each day, realize that your entire life lead to today the thing that matters most, is the present, your best friend, with the past as your ghost.
The summary of a life, is its social circle